


The Shadow of the Sun

by slytherinbitch



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Analysis, Depression, Gen, Slavery, Suicidal Thoughts, The Dark Side - Freeform, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 01:19:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7019494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherinbitch/pseuds/slytherinbitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And all the stars cried out to him in the night </p><p>RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Shadow of the Sun

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the Star Wars franchise or The Force Awakens, that pleasure belongs to Disney and George Lucas bless his soul.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 _Run away,_ the stars always trill,  
_Run away,_

 _Child of the desert,_  
The galaxy whispers,  
_Run away,_

_He wishes he could._

Kylo has always been a prisoner.  
A prisoner to his family's expectations.  
A prisoner to the light.

Later on; he is a captive of the darkness.  
To his own anger and hatred and fear.  
To Snoke and his harsh commands; to his insidious whispers in Kylo’s mind.

Yes, Kylo has always been a slave.  
But, then again, all Skywalkers are.

So he supposes he’s simply taking up the family business.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 _Run away,_ the wind screams,  
_Run away,_

 _Child of the sky,_  
The planet hums,  
_Run away,_

_Don’t you know I want to?_

When he was young he used to dream of sandstorms.  
And sometimes of storms of stars.  
He knows now that they were never dreams.

Yes, he is a Skywalker.  
It’s in his blood and his bones and his heart.  
Kylo knows now that’s nothing to be proud of.

Skywalkers are always storms.  
And like a storm, they will never know rest.  
Not a single day of their lives.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 _Run away,_ the waves always sing,  
_Run away,_

 _Child of the in-between,_  
The oceans croon,  
_Run away,_

_Helpmehelpmehelpmehelpme._

Unlike most, Kylo has seen each side of the scale.  
He has felt the darkness that resides in the space between the stars.  
He has perceived the light that shines on all things like it is the sun.

Kylo is surprised by neither, not like he used to be, not anymore.  
Kylo is not consumed by it, the way others are by the force.  
He is not blinded, not anymore.

He is, however, trapped.  
Everyone is really, especially those who can sense the ebb and flow of the universe.  
The force is a hungry beast that eats and eats and eats and is never satisfied.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 _Run away,_ the trees always warble.  
_Run away,_

 _Child of the flowers,_  
The wolves howl,  
_Run away,_

_IWILLIWILLWILLIWILLONEDAYIWILLBEFREE._

Kylo knows, of course, as all force sensitives know, that the force is, in essence, life.  
Kylo also knows, of course, as all sentient beings know, that the only escape from life, is death.  
It is a price he is willing to pay.

Suicide is not the death of self, not truly.  
Suicide is a weighing of pros and cons.  
And the question: what is harder for you to bear?

The cage that is life or the nothingness that is death?  
So he’ll throw himself into his battles, recklessly, dangerously.  
One day, one day soon, he’ll be on the losing end.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 _Run away,_ the birds murmur,  
_Run away,_

 _Child of the dawn,_  
The serpent's carol,  
_Run away,_

_ICANSEEITCANSEEITICANSEEIT_

He can still see their blood on his hands.  
He can still hear their screams.  
The youngest was only three.

He can still hear him, feel him, sense him.  
Whispering so darkly in his ear.  
Kill them all.

There is nothing more despicable than a child killer.  
Nothing more despicable, than to snuff out a life just beginning.  
Nothing that could ever change the fact that he is a monster.

  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


End file.
